ARCHIVE FOR June, 2010

When life is like “Seinfeld”9

Posted by Deirdre // 06-12-2010


Originally posted: 2009

Another day, another ridiculous commute. It’s now a little before 10 (I should really be at work by 9:30) and I’m only in Brooklyn Heights, waiting for my third transfer of the morning. A guy is cutting his nails next to me. Some guy with missing teeth just asked me if I knew the address for Family Court in Manhattan. I am not kidding. It could only get worse if one of the fingernails hit me in the face and the toothless guy puked on me. I feel like Elaine from Seinfeld, when she was on the subway and the lights kept going out and all she could do was scream silently to herself.
Sometimes I imagine starting the day calmly strolling to my job, which in that case would be the proprietor of a store with lots of pretty things I can look at all day, and sell for lots of money to very nice and cool customers. Then I leave at 4 so I can have dinner with the kids and someone else cleans up afterward (my husband, I guess!). This is what I imagine is the life of the woman who runs Bump, the maternity store on Bergen St. She’s pretty, well-dressed and her kid is always smiling and well-behaved at the playground. She doesn’t look tired or out of control.

Speaking of which, last night my 3 year old said, “Mommy, why do you have blue here?” and pointed right under his eye. I thought maybe my mascara had run but alas, it was dark circles.